SEX MYTHS: BUSTED

Just because you can tell the spoons position from the reverse cowgirl, doesn't mean you know it all when it comes to making whoopee

By Jess Spiring

Men think about sex every seven seconds
Lies, all lies, says Tracey Cox, author of bon king bible Sextasy (Dorling Kindersley, £14.99). “Those studies were done years ago and the researchers had a loose definition of what a sexual thought was,” she says. “In my experience, both men and women think about sex on average 20 times a day. And that does include fleeting thoughts like: ‘Ooh, the photocopier guy is fit!’”

All men secretly fantasise about Angelina Jolie
The person men most want to have sex with? “Their partner,” says Tracey Cox. “Only women really lust after strangers like celebrities. That’s because a lot of our sexual desire originates in our minds. Men are not as imaginative and would rather think about the sex they might actually have.”

Thinking about sex with another woman means I’m gay
“Everyone has same-sex fantasies,” says Georgia Foster, clinical hypnotherapist and author of The 4 Secrets Of Amazing Sex (Georgia Foster Publishing, £19.99). “Pretty much anyone who says they haven’t is a fibber. Most heterosexual people will have a gay dream at least once in their life and that’s normal. Even regular active fantasies about having sex with a woman might just mean you’re bi-curious. Unless you want to act out your fantasies and choose to turn your back on men completely, you’re not gay.”

Men are more promiscuous
No, no and no again, says Kate Taylor, relationship expert with dating website Match.com. “Women in their 30s and 40s get just as much action as men, but then fib about it in surveys, which skews the figures,” she says. According to a study at Ohio University, women are still shy about admitting how many partners they’ve had.

Women can’t have wet dreams
“Having an orgasm when you’re asleep is less common in women,” says sexpert Dr Lisa Turner (Theorgasmcoach.com). “But both men and women can climax without any genital contact.”

Getting married means less sex
Around 40 per cent of married people have sex twice a week, compared with 20 to 25 per cent of singles. “Married people have sex on tap – whenever they’re in the mood, chances are they can get some action,” says Kate Taylor. “It’s all about proximity. If you’re dating, your partner may not be around or up for it.”

When it comes to men's bits, size matters
"Men think the size of their package is waaay more important than it is," says Emma Sayle, founder of upmarket sex networking site killingkittens.com. "That cliché - it's not how big it is but what you do with it that matters - is definitely true." And according to Emma, those less well endowed by nature tend to have better technique to make up for what they lack.

Oysters, asparagus and champagne get you in the mood
"Mankind has been searching for aphrodisiacs since the year dot," says sex therapist Tracey Cox. "But there is no evidence to prove that having oysters on a date will prepare your body for intercourse. The only reason they might make you feel more horny is because eating them is a ritual we've connected to sex in our minds." In fact a recent American study suggested that no aphrodisiac is effective in boosting libido. But don't let that stop you opening the champagne.

You can only get pregnant 48 hours in every month
"The window of opportunity is much longer than that," says Jane Knight, fertility nurse specialist at the Zita West clinic (zitawest.com). "A woman is fertile for about six days in every menstrual cycle, but those six days vary depending on the length of your cycle. If you want to get pregnant aim for sex every 2-3 days to make sure there is a good supply of fresh healthy sperm ready and waiting for the egg to be released. If not, take care!"

There's only one kind of orgasm
There are actually two types of male orgasm and four female, according to Dr Lisa Turner. 'Women can have vaginal, clitoral and multiple orgasms,' she says. "But like men we can also have a full body orgasm. Based on tantric ideas, it takes some practise to achieve as it's based on yogic-type breathing and muscle control, but it does mean your orgasm will ripple through your body and can last for up to 30 minutes." Er, where do we sign for classes?

PHOTOGRAPHY: CAMERAPRESS