'MARRIED? I WANT YOUR MAN!'

Women beware: serial mistress Karen Marley has already dated 50 husbands, and she won’t stop there. She tells Fabulous why a ring doesn’t mean a thing

By Alison Smith-Squire

The text message was brief but passionate. Karen Marley's lover had confessed to his wife about their affair and had decided to end his marriage. Any other mistress would be delighted, but not Karen.

"He knew the deal – it was just a fling," Karen, 42, says. "I told him not to be silly and I didn't speak to him again."

When it comes to relationships, Karen, a photographer from north Yorkshire, knows what she wants – affairs with married men and no commitment. For the last five years she has had over 50 dates with accountants, doctors, and high-powered businessmen – some she dates for weeks, others are long-term affairs, and she often sees several at once.

"The majority are aged between 34 and 55, with successful lifestyles, but they need something extra," Karen says. "They love the excitement of an affair."

But Karen feels no remorse. Incredibly, she argues that wives are to blame (yes, really), being so wrapped up in raising children and running a home that they take their husbands for granted. She even claims that married men make better lovers than single guys.

"They want to please you in bed, and they make you feel special. I've been wined and dined, flown across the country for dinner and chauffeured around in a limo."

She is currently dating Daniel*, a 40-year-old designer, Pete*, who's 33 and in advertising, and Paul*, a 58-year-old accountant. All are in relationships and Pete has two small children. They meet for dinner every few weeks and stay in hotels, and mostly, the men are unaware she's seeing other people too. "It's kinder to make them feel like they're the only one," she says.

But Karen wasn't always this way. Her parents were happily married for 35 years, until her father died when she was 21, and as a teenager she dreamed of finding long-lasting love too.

However, she decided to become a mistress after the breakdown of her eight-year marriage to, Mark*, 52, a mechanic, and her subsequent relationship with Robert*, a 42-year-old single businessman, who she dated for almost four years. When he left Karen to return to his ex-girlfriend, she was devastated.

"I felt terribly betrayed. It's certainly one reason why I feel more comfortable dating married men – at least you know where you stand," she says.

Relationship psychologist Susan Quilliam agrees Karen is terrified of getting hurt again.

"It's probable Karen's scared of abandonment. After her dad died, she didn't get involved with anyone in case he left too. By dating married men, she keeps her distance emotionally," Susan says.

When she found herself single again, Karen turned to the internet. "I scoured the usual dating websites, but the men wanted serious relationships which I wasn't interested in after what I'd been through."

Karen then discovered the Illicit Encounters website where married men advertise to meet women.

"Although I'd never cheated before, I was less nervous using it than the usual dating websites," she says. "It didn't feel wrong because the men were upfront and I felt they were expecting less of me than a single man."

With married men, Karen reasoned, she could have a relationship and enjoy her freedom. "Although I care for the men I date, I don't let myself get attached – they're married and unavailable. If I've felt myself falling, I've finished it."

Karen admits that she has some high expectations when it comes to who she dates, and puts this down to the strong bond she had with her Dad.

"He was the perfect gentleman and I was shocked by his death at just 55. I often compare the men I meet to him," she admits.

But Karen says some men are off-limits: "I'd never make a play for a friend's husband. Close friends and family know what I do – if they're shocked, they've never told me."

Incredibly, Karen says she feels no guilt. "These are men who are usually looking for an affair – if they weren't with me, they'd be having one elsewhere," she says.

"I believe all guys have the capability to cheat, and with so many wonderful married men looking for someone like me, I know another will cross my path soon."

HOW TO STOP YOUR MAN STRAYING
Serial mistress Sarah Symonds, 38, claims to have had affairs with Gordon Ramsay and Jeffrey Archer, and is the author of Having An Affair? A Handbook For The Other Woman (Hatherleigh Press, £10.99). Here are her tips for keeping women like her away…

1 Make sure your man feels special.

2 Have lots of sex!

3 Don't get bogged down in domestic routine.

4 Don't let yourself go – he wants the sexy woman he married, not a frump.

5 Listen to him – or he'll find someone else to instead (like Sarah).

 

Have your say: What do you think of Karen's behaviour? Have you ever been a mistress? Are you worried about your man straying? >>

 

INFAMOUS ‘OTHER’ WOMEN

Marilyn Monroe was the mistress of JFK and his brother Bobby

Rebecca Loos, 31, claimed she had an affair with David Beckham in 2003

Monica Lewinsky, 35, had an 18-month affair in the mid-90s with Bill Clinton

Mick Jagger's ‘90s affair with Luciana Morad, 38, ended his marriage to Jerry Hall

Sven-Göran Eriksson's affair with Ulrika Jonsson, now 41, hit the headlines in 2002

Actress Jayne Mansfield had a three-year affair with JFK in the '60s

 

PHOTOGRAPHY: REBECCA BRADBURY, THE RONALD GRANT ARCHIVE, REX, SPLASH HAIR & MAKE-UP: ALISON AT NE REPRESENTATION SUSAN QUILLIAM IS THE AUTHOR OF THE JOY OF SEX: THE ROMANTIC LOVER AND THE JOY OF SEX: THE ADVENTUROUS LOVER (MITCHELL BEAZLEY, £8.99 EACH) *NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED