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IT'S THE HIDDEN FACE OF DOMESTIC ABUSE, BLIGHTING THOUSANDS OF FAMILIES IN THE UK. TODDLERS KICKING THEIR DADS, TEENS STABBING THEIR MUMS - THEY'RE PART OF A TERRIFYING NEW TREND OF CHILDREN TURNING ON THEIR PARENTS

By Christina Windsor

When Emma Donaldson discovered her boyfriend was cheating on her, she decided she wouldn’t get mad, she’d get even.

Tired of repeatedly falling for men who turned out to be love rats, Emma decided to beat them at their own game.

She dumped her cheating partner and, a year on, the 21-year-old receptionist from London is now an expert in Manhattan Dating – a phenomenon spawned by the escapades of the Sex and the City girls.

Sometimes known as the Samantha Syndrome, this US style of dating – seeing and even sleeping with several men at any one time – is now Emma’s social activity of choice.

“I was frustrated with meeting blokes who claimed to be single, then discovering I was just one of several contenders for the role of number one girlfriend,” explains Emma.

“I decided that monogamy was a waste of time.”

Sexpert and psychotherapist Dominic Dunne says the trend indicates that women are no longer made to feel ashamed of having multiple sexual partners.

“It’s an indication of a confident, independent woman who doesn’t want to be defined by what society says she should be doing,” he explains.

Penny Conway, from dating website Parship, says the days of Bridget Jones sitting at home pining for a man are over.

Her research reveals that 30 per cent of women using her website are actively Manhattan Dating – using friends, work, internet sites, bars, even weddings, to find men.

“There are two types of women who Multiple or Manhattan Date,” says Penny.

“The first group are highly motivated women who want a relationship and start off dating 15-20 men, gradually whittling them down until they find the one they want a serious monogamous relationship with.

“The second group are happy being single and don’t feel under pressure to settle down, despite being in their late 20s or early 30s, so multiple dating suits them perfectly.”

For Emma, organising her diary these days is both thrilling and fun.

Most of the time she’ll go on just one or two lunch or dinner dates before realising the guy’s not the right one for her.

Other men may last longer.

“One guy takes me to posh restaurants and treats me like a real lady – we have great conversation.

Another man I see is fantastic in bed but he’s not marriage material, and another just makes me laugh,” she says.

“I don’t sleep with all the men I date.

"Some I see once or twice, others I might sleep with after a few weeks.

"I’m very picky about who I sleep with – and it’s safe sex or no sex.

“Unless they ask, I don’t tell them I’m seeing other men.

"If they do ask, I admit that I Manhattan Date and if they don’t like it, I end the relationship.”

Emma says she always does the dumping, and enjoys the control she has over her love life.

“It’s not about being promiscuous,” she insists.

“Like Carrie and Samantha, I want to try before I buy.

"Why is that OK for men but not for women?

"I’d never sleep with more than two guys at a time, even when I’m dating four or five men.

“Manhattan Dating allows you to experience different types of men and it’s often the case that the sexiest bloke isn’t the one you want to spend a lot of time with.

“I think if more women took this approach to dating there’d be less heartache, and possibly less divorce.

"And when you do finally walk down the aisle, you know the man at the altar is the one for you.”

 

Do you or any of your friends date Manhatten style? Can you see the appeal in it or are you a one-man-only kind of girl? Do you think this process of elimination works in the end?

CLICK HERE NOW TO JOIN THE DISCUSSION

 

Photography: Karen Hatch, Getty Images; Hair and make-up/styling: Kellie Mitchell; Photograph posed by model

* All names have been changed