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SPRING CLEAN YOUR FRIENDS

IT’S NOT JUST YOUR CUPBOARDS THAT REQUIRE A CLEAR- OUT – IT’S TIME TO DITCH YOUR TOXIC MATES TOO

By Fiona Cowood

HOW TO END A FRIENDSHIP

* Only see her in groups — don’t engagein one-to-ones.

* Gradually stop answering and returning her calls — most people will get the hint. If you’re questioned, blame work and generalise.

* If you’re feeling brave, explain your reasons in writing. Good luck!

Some friends are bad for our health.

They take up our time, bleed us dry – emotionally and financially – and make us feel lousy about ourselves.

As if we needed further proof that some gal pals are more ‘frenemies’ than friends, scientists have just discovered that half of all women are secretly jealous of their girlfriends – and fancy their boyfriends to boot!

If these women were men, they’d be dumped by now.

That’s why Liz Pryor, author of What Did I Do Wrong? When Women Don’t Tell Each Other The Friendship Is Over, says it’s high time we took action and consigned these toxic friends to the social skip.

The Pressure Queen

She’s most likely to say: “What do you mean, you’re not having another glass of wine?” and makes you feel terrified to ever admit that you’ve had a night in.

Liz says: “To act in this way, she can’t be happy, so give her a chance. Say ‘no’ once and be firm. Don’t make excuses for why you’re not going out. If she doesn’t accept your decision, it might be time to get rid.”

The Pal You’ve Outgrown

Your conversations with her generally start with: “Do you remember when we…?” Why? Because the past is all you have in common.

Liz says: “Don’t end the relationship, just downsize it. Go for a slow fade until you’re only swapping news in Christmas cards. You’re not a bad person for outgrowing someone. It happens.”

The One-Upper

Whatever the topic, she’s guaranteed to have a bigger/flashier/thinner/better one.

Liz says: “She’s singled you out as a competitor – and the reason is simple: she’s jealous of something you have. Don’t engage in the contest. If she starts, change the subject. If this doesn’t work, you might have to be busy for the foreseeable future. Big confrontations won’t work with this one as she’s likely just to blow up.”

The All-About-Me Friend

A night out with her is like a night out with the radio – one long monologue.

Liz says: “Nobody wants a mate who only bangs on about herself, but this is salvageable. Test her by asking for advice. If she doesn’t rise to the challenge, lose her.”

Photography: Getty; What Did I Do Wrong? When Women Don’t Tell Each Other The Friendship Is Over by Liz Pryor (Free Press, £9.99)