Lying on her bed, in a grotty bedsit, tears rolled down Natalie Clarke’s face as she thought about how her once-perfect life had become a nightmare of debt and deceit.

A mountain of payment demands – the legacy of her out-of-control fashion addiction – lay unopened on the floor, as she contemplated leaving her problems behind once and for all.

“As I lay in the darkness, all I could think about was going to the local shop, buying a bottle of vodka and some paracetamol, and killing myself. My life had become a nightmare,” says Natalie, 26.

“The only thing that stopped me was that I didn’t even have enough money to buy the vodka and pills.”

Over four years, Natalie had run up a staggering £33,000 debt, shopping for the latest trends.

Her obsession with clothes had transformed her from a driven and ambitious student, to a depressed and suicidal young woman.

“My problems began when I moved away from home at the age of 18 to study fashion journalism at university,” recalls Natalie, from south-west London.

“Suddenly banks were offering me huge overdrafts and a different credit card company wrote to me every day, inviting me to apply for a card.

“I’d never really had a lot of money at my disposal before, so the temptation to go out and treat myself was just too great,” she confesses.

“I love clothes and soon I was buying them nearly every day – in places like Topshop, Oasis and Monsoon – and because I shopped on the high street and never spent a huge amount at once, I didn’t feel like I had a problem.”

However, it wasn’t long before Natalie’s shopping habit began to spiral out of control.

“If I found a pair of trousers I liked, I would buy them in three colours.

“In La Senza, instead of buying one bra, I would buy five and then have to get the matching knickers as well.

“I also loved designer sunglasses and would think nothing of blowing £200 on a pair of Versace or Dolce & Gabbana shades.”

“I was living in a student house and driving an old car, but being able to dress up in new clothes and have expensive haircuts made me feel good about myself.”

With only £400-a-month income from her student loan and outgoings of more than £900, Natalie was relying on 15 credit and store cards to fund her addiction.

As she was only able to afford to make the minimum repayments on her cards each month, Natalie was soon racking up huge interest fees.

After graduating in 2003, Natalie began a job in media relations, but by the following year her debts were catching up with her.

“I owed so much that I couldn’t even afford the minimum repayments. I had no idea how much I owed but there was an endless stream of letters from the bank, credit card companies and bailiffs, demanding money from me,” she says tearfully.

Natalie sank into depression, leaving her grotty bedsit only to go to work and refusing to open her post for three months.

It was in June 2004, after considering suicide, that Natalie realised she needed help.

“I called my mum and confessed to her that I was in a huge amount of debt.

“I was sobbing hysterically and was so ashamed when I had to admit I had absolutely no idea how much I owed.”

Natalie’s mother, a former head teacher, and father, a retired policeman, took her home to Brighton where her dad opened her mail and calculated she was £33,000 in debt.

“They were really calm about it. I think they realised I was on the verge of a breakdown. But I was disgusted with myself.” says Natalie.

Natalie’s parents took out a £40,000 loan to pay off her creditors and save her from the shame of bankruptcy, and she is repaying them in monthly instalments of £139.

She now lives on a tight budget and has cut up her cards.

These days, Natalie prefers to buy clothes for her son Harrison, one, than for herself.

Although she does sell those he’s grown out of on eBay.

“I’m determined to pay off my debt and take full responsibility for my actions,” she says.

“I was addicted to fashion and shopping, and that addiction and the lifestyle I created for myself, almost destroyed me.”

‘Being a shopaholic is as bad as being hooked on drugs’

Monica Black is a clinical hypnotherapist and addiction expert.

She says: “Shopping addictions are on the rise as society becomes increasingly materialistic and image-conscious.

How you look defines who you are, so it’s little wonder that women like Natalie are developing an addiction to shopping.

It can be just as destructive as a reliance on drugs or alcohol.

You can end up in serious amounts of debt, and it could be masking underlying feelings of low self-esteem that need to be addressed.

The addiction is an artificial way of boosting your confidence – addicts must learn how to feel good about themselves without using shopping.”

YOU COULD BE AT RISK IF…

* You’ve experienced an emotional upset like the break-up of a relationship or a move away from home, and you’re feeling low.

* When you go shopping you get an adrenaline rush – your heart races and you feel euphoric.

* The buzz you get from spending money is short-lived; soon you’re craving another shopping trip.

* The only time you feel good about yourself is when you’re shopping – you rely on it to boost your self-esteem and give you confidence.

* You buy things you don’t need and often don’t even want.

WHAT TO DO

* Recognise that you have an underlying problem.

* Try to self-regulate your addiction by learning to relax when you feel stressed or anxious, and distract yourself by doing some light exercise when you crave shopping.

* Seek help from your doctor or a registered therapist if you can’t overcome your addiction by yourself.

Have you ever been in serious debt? Do you bury your head in the sand about owing money and hope it will just go away? What are you willing to get into debt for – a car, clothes, education, a holiday?

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For more information about Monica Black, visit hampsteadhypnotherapy.com

Photography: Syriol Jones, Alamy Hair & Make-Up: Sara Bowden