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NO SOONER WAS 35-YEAR-OLD KATHRYN KNIGHT MARRIED THAN PALS WERE TRYING TO FAST-TRACK HER INTO MOTHERHOOD

 

After emerging unscathed from having my satchel kicked round the school playground, I assumed my days of being picked on were behind me.

But then I met the ‘Baby Bullies’. Siblings of the yummy mummies, their preferred prey is the newly-wed.

Not content with seeing a ring on your finger, the BBs want you up the duff and in the club – literally.

And they don’t pull any punches, trying to fast-track you out of your wedding dress and into the nearest gynaecologist’s office before you’ve even got your honeymoon photos in the album.

The most robust BBs start their mission even before the wedding – in my case with some not-so-subtle prods over whether my man and I would be making babies as well as lurve once we got to our island paradise.

And there’s been little let-up since we got back. Tactics vary – ranging from the casual inquiry disguised as comment: “I suppose a lot of decisions will be up in the air over the next couple of years, depending on, you know, what happens?” to the downright direct: “Are you taking folic acid yet?”

It’s not just the girls either – the blokes are just as bad. “No point planning – you’ll doubtless be up the duff by then,” said a mate of my husband’s, as we discussed the possibility of a skiing trip next year.

Now, even going to the pub has become a challenge.

The ‘drink inspectors’ scan my alcohol consumption and mentally score how many glasses of wine I’m having and how it squares with my ovulation cycle.

I know that people mean well, and you can’t blame them for speculating.

I’m 35, I’ve got the ring, the clock is ticking and all that.

But the point is that private assumptions should sometimes remain private.

Having a baby might prove to be the most fulfilling journey I ever embark on – as friends frequently inform me – but I’m not ready to set off just yet.

 

Beat the bullies

Sick of being asked when you’re going to get pregnant? Try these retorts to shut people up:

* “I’ve got a baby already, thanks. I’m married to him.”
* “I’d love to (adopt saintly smile), but my calling to help the poor is my priority just now.”
* “There are too many people in the world already, so why add to the problem?”
* “I’ll have one when they invent a cure for stretch marks.”.

 

Do you feel pressurised by your friends? Does peer pressure exist whatever your age? Other than babies and marriage, what do your friends pressure you into doing?

CLICK HERE TO JOIN THE DISCUSSION

 

Photography: Giles Park. Hair & make-up: Sara Bowden. Products from Boots, Mamas & Papas, Mothercare