A couple of weeks later, he asked if he could drive me home. I jumped at the chance. When he dropped me off just around the corner from my house, he kissed me.

My head was swimming. I didn’t try to stop him and, to be honest, I didn’t want it to end.

As I walked back home, I felt overwhelmed with guilt.

That was until I walked through the front door and found my husband David crashed out on the sofa, surrounded by mess.

We’d been married for four years but recently I’d felt like a skivvy.

We’d met 11 years earlier in 1993 when we were both 18.

David was kind, loving and made me laugh. When I fell pregnant three months later with Daniel, now 14, we were both so happy.

I loved being a full-time mum and was thrilled when, at 24, I gave birth to Neil, now eight.

That’s when David proposed. Our wedding day was one of the happiest of my life. I absolutely meant my vows as I said them – I thought our marriage was forever.

But when we had our third son, Blake, six years ago, things changed.

David wasn’t earning a vast salary as a mechanic and we were struggling financially.

To help make ends meet, I’d taken a job as a supervisor in a petrol station, working 10-hour shifts as well as looking after the children.

I prepared the evening meal before work and arrived home to dirty dishes.

I begged David to help me more, but he always told me I was nagging and we’d end up having blistering rows.

I met Richard, who’s 10 years older than me and single, in April 2004. Within four weeks of our first kiss in his car, we had sex. It felt great to be wanted again.

I hadn’t slept with David for a couple of months and having a lover was exciting.

I told David I was out with friends and even stayed over at Richard’s flat some nights.

I was so caught up in the secrecy and excitement of the affair I didn’t even think about David.

But gradually the thrill turned to guilt. Richard knew I was married, but in August, after five months of having sex
with him, I decided I needed to be honest with David.

I told him everything. He packed his bags and left that same day.

The children were confused and upset and wanted their ‘brilliant’ dad back. To my surprise, I missed him too.

I carried on seeing Richard, but I kept our relationship a secret from everyone except David and my best friend.

Things came to a head a couple of weeks later, when Richard and I went away for a weekend.

I realised I could never love him as I loved David. We didn’t have anything in common so I ended the affair then and there.

Coincidentally I returned to our home in Weymouth, Dorset, to find a beautiful bunch of red roses from David.

He’d also written a letter saying he wanted to do whatever he could to make things work.

A few days later, David took me to the restaurant we’d been to on our first date.

I told him how sorry I was about my affair, and that he was the one I loved.

I explained to him where I thought we’d gone wrong, and he promised he’d change.

He moved back in that night. The children were ecstatic.

I knew it would take a while for David to trust me again, and that I’d have to deal with the impact my affair had on his self-esteem.

Although at times we have had a few difficult words over my infidelity, my attitude has been to listen to whatever David has to say and to be honest with him.

We’ve focused on putting the past behind us and making each other feel loved. Because of our honesty, our sex life quickly got back on track.

Having our fourth son, Alfie, two years ago, cemented our relationship.

Even now, I constantly remind myself how lucky I am that David forgave me and that he believes me when I tell him I would never cheat again.

Thanks to my affair, our marriage now seems easier than ever before.

‘I didn’t give her the love she deserved’ David says:

From the moment I set eyes on Paula, I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else.

Even when we rowed, we always talked things through and managed to sort out any problems.

But after Blake was born in 2002 we drifted apart. We were both working long hours and hardly saw each other.

We stopped communicating properly. I wasn’t giving Paula the attention she needed and I know I wasn’t pulling my weight around the house.

In June 2004, I found pictures and text messages from a guy called Richard on Paula’s phone.

I was shocked, but I put my head in the sand and ignored it until she confessed two months later. I had a million questions to ask, but couldn’t speak.

I agreed to move out and we came to an arrangement to look after the kids.

At first, I was so hurt I couldn’t even look her in the eye when I came to collect the children. It was horrible for them.

However, I recognised that I had to share the blame.

So in those following months, I sorted out my priorities and realised Paula and the children were the most important things to me.

When we went out to dinner, I felt as nervous as I did on our first date.

We talked about everything and when Paula told me how much she regretted having the affair, and what had led her to it, I felt sure we could make it work.

Still, I found it hard to trust Paula when I first moved back in.

Whenever she went to see a friend, I wondered whether she was seeing Richard.

But she was considerate of my insecurities and did her best to make me feel loved.

Four years on and I feel that we now have a mutual respect and understanding for each other that wouldn’t have been possible had she not cheated on me.

I actually think her fling brought her back to me.

Did an affair save your relationship? Should David have taken Paula back? Would you forgive your partner if they cheated on you? Can a relationship ever be the same once someone has been unfaithful?

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Photography: Karen Hatch Hair & Make-Up: Kellie Mitchell at Joy Goodman