“For years I felt like the ugly one in Girls Aloud,” she admits. “I walked around looking unhappy and completely miserable because that’s how I felt for such a long time.

"There I was – tall, skinny, with red hair and the whitest skin you’ve ever seen – standing next to four of the most gorgeous girls in Britain.

“They all look perfect with lovely hair and amazing tanned bodies. I was the ugly one, the odd one out.

"While standing and smiling for photo shoots, all I’d be thinking about was that people would be looking at me thinking: ‘What’s she doing with them?’”

Nicola, now 22, joined Girls Aloud when she was 16, fresh out of school. She wanted to be a singer, and after appearing on Popstars: The Rivals, her dream came true.
“It was weird. I joined this band because my life was all about singing. Then Girls Aloud became successful, and suddenly it wasn’t just about being able to sing any more. It turned into a beauty contest.

“People on radio and television started making nasty comments about me and I felt awful. Turning from a teenager into a woman is hard enough without dealing with snide comments.

'I can’t stand Chris Moyles. It’s no surprise I looked miserable with him on my case'

"My self-esteem was at rock bottom,” she sighs.

Nicola has never opened up like this before, but feels she can finally confront her feelings now she has more confidence.

“I never even mentioned my insecurities to the rest of the girls because I felt so embarrassed,” she admits.

“If something negative was written about my looks, I’d clock the other girls folding the newspaper up or hiding it away.

I didn’t say anything and they didn’t say anything. It was like we all agreed to pretend it hadn’t happened.

“I was also aware that it sounded pathetic,” she adds.

“I was in this amazing band, I had this great life, and I was letting the fact that people slagged me off for being ginger and miserable ruin that.”

She pauses for a moment.

“My way of dealing with it was to go home to Runcorn in Cheshire as often as I could to go out with my mates and get slaughtered,” she admits.

“It was the only thing I could do to block everything out.”

Ironically, Nicola had never worried about her looks until she was thrust into the public eye with the band.

“My thing was that I could sing, which gave me loads of confidence,” she says.

“But when I was given this chance because of my singing, my confidence disappeared.”

Nicola spent tens of thousands of pounds trying to change her looks to fit in with Cheryl Cole, Sarah Harding, Kimberley Walsh and Nadine Coyle, focusing first on her translucent skin.

“I was a total tanorexic,” she says. “In fact I was an everything-orexic. I couldn’t do anything in moderation.

I’d go to the gym non-stop, I’d spend non-stop.

I’d go into a shop for 10 minutes and blow £200 on beauty products, hair bobbles, new underwear – anything to give me that sensation of having something brand new that might make me feel I was worth something, even for a few seconds.

“My pale skin was the thing that got to me the most. My bathroom shelves were crammed with every product on the market, and I was completely obsessed with covering up my skin.

Even if we were working until 10pm, I’d come home, dive into the shower, exfoliate and cover myself with St Tropez, ready to get up at 6am the next day to start work again.”

Despite her feelings of worthlessness, Nicola became a celebrity as Girls Aloud churned out hit after hit and became the UK’s number one girl band.

But as their fame grew, so did the taunts aimed at Nicola.

One of the people who never missed a chance to lay into her was Radio 1 DJ Chris Moyles.

“I can’t stand him. It’s no surprise I looked miserable with him on my case.

"And he’s such a good-looking bloke himself, isn’t he?” she jokes.

Nicola felt unable to confide in anyone, including her parents.

“I didn’t feel I could burden anyone with my problems,” she explains.

“It all sounded so pathetic, and I got to the point where I was tempted to turn to drink and drugs.

"But ultimately I’m quite a strong person.”

Nicola’s turning point came six months ago when she started work on the ITV2 show The Passions Of..., where she helped create a range of make-up for girls with fair skin.

The experience, she says, made her confront her own feelings about her looks.

Another reason why she’s happier than ever before is because of the state of her love life.

After splitting from her long-term partner Carl Egerton, Nicola is now with businessman Carl Davies (pictured right), who proposed in October last year.

“I love my life and Carl, and I love being in the band,” she says, twisting the diamond and amber engagement ring on her finger.

“People talk about Girls Aloud splitting up, which isn’t true.

"We may all go off and do something here or there, but we’re a band and we’re all in this because we love it.”

One of Nicola’s greatest thrills these days is to look in the mirror.

“I used to avoid it,” she said. “I used to look into them thinking: ‘I’m ugly’.

"Then it became: ‘Am I that ugly?’, and now I look and think: ‘I’m starting to look pretty!’

"I don’t know if it’s my face that’s changed or that my confidence has grown.

“I realised I’d been completely focused on thinking beauty was all about a certain image.

"The great thing about women is that we’re all different, and I’m different.

“I’ve still got bright red hair, a skinny body and blue legs, but I like the fact I’m different. I like me.

"I might not always be smiling, but I’m happier than I’ve ever been.”

The Passions of... Girls Aloud starts on ITV2 in March and the Tangled Up album out now through Fascination Records.

THE FABULOUS 5

1. Share a secret about yourself — something we’d never guess
I dance around my house like a mad woman when no one is watching.

2. What rule do you try to live by?
Try to do the right thing — it’s simple, but the best rule.

3. What’s your party trick?
I’ve just started pole dancing!

4. David Cameron or Gordon Brown?
David Cameron. I’m not a big Labour supporter. I want someone tougher and stricter than Gordon Brown.

5. Last supper?
My mum’s roast chicken dinner with deep-fried roast potatoes, mint sauce and gravy. Yum.

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