SHE’S HAD FOUR PREGNANCIES BY FOUR DIFFERENT MEN, BUT 40-YEAR-OLD ULRIKA JONSSON EXPLAINS WHY IT’S A DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE THIS TIME AROUND

IF men had to go through pregnancy, the human race would cease to exist.

I can’t see any man putting up with the stress, strain, weight gain or hormones – let alone the anxiety – that these nine months bring.

If I sound like an angry, bitter, bra-burning psycho, that may have something to do with the fact that I’m seven and a half months pregnant with my fourth child, by a fourth partner.

So I have plenty of experience of partners and pregnancy.

I love babies, but I don’t really enjoy being pregnant.

I’m as far from a yummy mummy as you can get – I weigh more than my husband right now, and dignity goes out of the window as I suffer an A-Z of complaints – from heartburn to varicose veins.

I spent the first four months of this pregnancy in a blind panic about having a fourth child.

I put this down to the disastrous relationship I had with the father of my second child, Bo, now seven.

Bo was born with a serious heart defect, yet her dad abandoned us when she was two weeks old.

My third pregnancy with Martha, now four, was fraught with worry that I was going to have another sick child.

Now I have three children to care for and consider.

They were delighted with the news that I was pregnant, but at first I struggled to cope mentally, as well as physically.

When my hormones levelled out in the fourth month, I was finally able to enjoy my pregnancy. That’s testament to the great man who is now my third husband, and the father of my fourth child.

For the first time, I feel I’m part of a fantastic team. I have a man who has undertaken completely the responsibility of becoming a father and being a supportive partner to me during this tricky time.

He respects what I’m going through – and he appreciates it.

Sadly, too many men have little understanding or empathy, and take too much for granted. Some don’t even hang around long enough for the umbilical cord to be cut, let alone get to know their child.

Making and having babies is seen as a ‘woman’s thing’, and they find it all too easy to walk away.

Happily, I’ve now found an extraordinary man I respect, and who respects this enormous task I have to complete. If only I’d had this feeling before… but then again, I’d probably have a brood of 10 by now!

How did you find pregnancy? Have you brought up children on your own? Do you think it matters if there’s only one parent around? Would you do anything differently?

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As told to Claie Wilson; Photography: Justin Canning/Stay Still/Photoshot, Nicky Johnston/Camera Press/Alamy