T: What do you love most about your body and yourself?
S: You think I’m going to say my boobs, but it’s my bum. Unlike a lot of women, I actually love my a**e. And I also love my sense of humour – I couldn’t live without one.

T: What do you hate most about your body and yourself?
S: My tummy. No matter how much exercise I do, it never goes away. I also hate my excessive drinking problem because I get the worst hangovers.

T: How do you rate yourself in bed?
S: I’m pretty good in bed, so an eight or sometimes higher, because you can be all sorts of different people in bed. I’m much more comfortable without clothes than with them. Geminis like me are often very sensual.

T: Do you fancy my husband, and which one of my exes would you like to have dated?
S: I adore your husband and could happily live with him, but I don’t fancy him. There is one guy we’ve both slept with – a long time ago. We’ve seen him when we’ve been out together since, but none of us felt awkward. We must discuss sexual performance later…

T: What’s the naughtiest thing you’ve ever done?
S: I was 24 and staying in someone’s house when I was suddenly bursting for the loo. Someone was in the toilet, so I peed in a basin, and the whole thing came away from the wall. I had to explain everything to my hostess. I was mortified, but she thought it was hysterical!

T: What are your feelings on Botox?
S: I hate the lines on my face. You made me see your Botox guy to have it done and held my hand as I screamed the place down (I’m needle-phobic). The next day my face was frozen and I felt like a stroke victim. I absolutely hated the feeling – I felt claustrophobic in my own face. Never again. (T: Please note, Susannah is a whiney drama queen.)

T: What about plastic surgery?
S: Yes, I’m definitely up for it. I think there may come a time in the not too distant future when I have a nip/tuck here and there. My husband thinks it’s a good idea.

T: Do you have any dark secrets?
S: I think it’s good for women to have secrets. You’re not a real woman without them. There are things my husband doesn’t know and a few things you don’t know, but obviously I can’t reveal them.

T: What’s the one thing I could do that would ruin our friendship?
S: If I ever caught you having lunch with Lisa Butcher (the new co-host of their old BBC show What Not What To Wear) that would be it.

T: What do you give yourself out of 10 for looks?
S: Six. I’m just shy of average and I’m pretty comfortable with that. I don’t have any issues. I know that on a good day if I suck my tummy in, get my hair done and glam up, I can get near to an eight – but the real me is a six. (T: I’d give her an eight.)

T: If you could go into my wardrobe, what’s the one item you would steal and the one thing you would burn?
S: I’d burn all your leggings. I hate them and they don’t look good. I’d steal your beautiful sleeveless dresses. I can’t wear them because of my upper arms, but you can because your arms are slim and gorgeous. Bitch!

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As told to Louise Gannon. Photography: Camerapress.

Hair: Karen Taylor at Richard Ward. Make-Up: Charlotte Ribeyro using Chanel Summer 08 Collection.

Trinny wears grey and white panel dress, £59, and Susannah wears lace dress, £59, both Littlewoods Direct

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