Every single girl has been there.

A few glasses of champagne make us feel free, flirty and in the mood for something else beginning with F. And, what do you know, there’s a hot guy by the bar giving you the eye.

Our girlfriends urge us on. “He’s gorgeous! Go for it!,” they say. “You deserve some great sex!” “Dead right,” you think.

So you head back to his place for what you imagine will be a wild, crazy, raunchy romp – the sort of sex you don’t dare have with men you’d like a relationship with for fear of being judged.

Except what you end up with is five minutes of fumbling, hideously ‘ordinary’ sex, with him on top. In all senses. He has an orgasm and you have regrets.

This scenario will be familiar to thousands of girls, so it’s no surprise that a recent survey found almost 50 per cent of women feel used after a one-night stand.

However, that same survey discovered 80 per cent of men have no regrets. The reason? Because orgasm – and therefore satisfaction – for men is so easy, it’s join-the-dots stuff.

Women’s sexual systems are complicated and contrary, and it takes a patient, curious and unselfish lover to make us climax. The very essence of a one-night stand is that it’s selfish sex. You’re both there for a good time, not a long time.

It’s a little unrealistic to expect him to spend two hours trying to give you the pleasure it takes him three minutes to achieve.

Trouble is, being the intrinsically optimistic creatures that we are, there’s still part of us that hopes and expects he will do this. This is because, if the situation was reversed, we would put the time in to make the earth move for him.

Women are people pleasers. Men aren’t. So the system is essentially flawed. God short-changed us by giving women patience when in fact it’s men who most need it to give us sexual satisfaction!

So the only way for a woman to have a one-night stand and enjoy it, guilt-free, is to call the shots. Only go there if it truly is just sex you’re after.

Then make sure it’s good sex by having it on your terms.

Tell him exactly what you want and how you want it and satisfy yourself first (second, third) before letting him even think about his needs.

Once you’re sated then, and only then, graciously let him do his stuff. If you’re going to suffer the ‘good-girl blues’ the next day, at least make sure the sex was worth it.

Tracey returns to TV this summer in BBC2’s Would Like to Meet… Again.

 

Have you had a one-night stand you didn’t regret? Why do you think women regret them more than men? Have you ever become too attached after what should have been a quick fling?

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