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OK, I have a confession, and one that is bound to send the Green brigade tearing out their dreadlocks in despair.

When my wife gave birth to our fourth child last month, I saw it as a perfect excuse to get a bigger car.

Not just a hatchback with an expansive boot, but a colossal 4x4 – a Volvo XC90 or a Land Rover Discovery 3 – to transport six people in style.

“No way,” said Caroline. “If I pull up outside the school gates in a Chelsea tractor I’ll become a social pariah.”

My wife and I live in west London, but I imagine similar conversations are taking place up and down the country.

The storm troopers of the Green movement are busy patrolling our high streets and supermarket aisles, wagging their fingers at anyone they consider environmentally unsound.

It isn’t just 4x4s that appear on their forbidden list, it’s anything that contributes to global warming, including tumble dryers, plastic bags and bottled water.

But why should we pay any attention to these eco-fascists?

Do they really imagine replacing ordinary light bulbs with energy-saving ones will make the slightest bit of difference?

China – the world’s fourth-largest economy – is now building new coal-fired power stations at the rate of two a week.

As Tony Blair pointed out, even if Britain reduced its carbon emissions to zero – that is, if every single person in the country stopped driving a car, permanently switched off their electricity and lived on a diet of raw root vegetables – the positive effect on the environment would be wiped out by just two years worth of growth in China’s emissions.

So, what’s the point?

Another reason for ignoring the orders of the Green thought police is that the scientific theory that underpins the movement is beginning to look distinctly shaky.

According to this theory, temperatures should continue to rise as the level of carbon dioxide in the earth’s atmosphere increases.

But as we all experienced first hand this year, the UK and the northern hemisphere in general endured its coldest winter for decades and, as anyone who’s been outside this summer can tell you, there’s no evidence things are heating up.

Indeed, when the Earth Nazis start talking to me about global warming, I think: “Chance would be a fine thing. I bought £500 worth of garden furniture last year and I still haven’t been able to use it.”

Of course, none of these arguments makes the slightest bit of difference to the Greens. Their real reason for getting up on their high horses is to show off their social superiority.

Driving an electric car and buying organic carrots has nothing to do with saving the planet and everything to do with advertising how much better they are than you and me.

These days, people no longer worry about keeping up with the Joneses. Instead, it’s all about proving how much greener you are than the Joneses.

Take my neighbour, Tristran. He traded in his people carrier for an eco-friendly, hybrid Toyota Prius. His girlfriend was so annoyed – she wanted a BMW – he had to buy her a Mini Cooper to compensate.

But no doubt they’ll be feeling pleased with their contribution to saving the planet as they relax on a mountain top in Bhutan – their chosen holiday destination in Asia – which, as far as I know, they aren’t planning to travel to in the Prius.

Toby Young is the ambassador for the Reader by Sony, an electronic book that can store up to 160 books. Pre-order now from Waterstone’s (Waterstones.com).