RATHER SPEND YOUR NIGHTS IN THE PUB THAN PLAN YOUR PENSION? DREAD THE THOUGHT OF SETTLING DOWN? YOU’RE NOT ALONE, SAYS SHARON HORGAN

WE'RE in the middle of an epidemic.

All over the country, grown-ups who are old enough to know better are shirking their responsibilities and delaying adulthood.

The culprits are easy to spot – they wear expensive trainers and enjoy drinks at happy hour. On the surface they seem cool but behind their eyes there’s a slightly worried look.

I should know. I, too, refused to grow up way beyond my allotted time.

I’m not entirely sure how my generation gets away with being such big babies. Is it because we now think we should wait for our big break, no matter how long it takes?

I was still prolonging my youth right into my early 30s (I’m now 37).

I tried everything I could to convince others – and, more importantly, myself – that I was doing something significant with my life, when really I was a***ing around in bars with other people who were also refusing to grow up.

I told myself I was being ‘creative’ and started on the path to permanent studentdom by going to art college. But when it looked like I was going to be made to actually do something, I dropped out.

This is a key part of prolonging adolescence – how can you grow up if you don’t actually finish anything?

So I moved to London to work in a shop selling bongs to nutters. I reasoned that was creative because I was allowed to draw the special offer posters.

Then I drew comic strips – only one was published and that was by mistake in an anthology of Dutch lesbian art. And I took a job being rude to people who’d paid good money to buy food, also known as ‘waitressing’.

But I was always careful never to let work get in the way of having a good time.

Finally, I realised there were drawbacks to staying out late every night for 12 years. When the novelty wears off you suddenly have to do the important stuff quickly to catch up.

I had my epiphany at 32 when I woke up one morning after a party to find myself in exactly the same spot I’d been in the night before, except everyone else had gone home.

It was symbolic of never quite knowing when the party’s over.

In super-quick time I became a fully-employed married mother. It felt like diving under a rapidly closing door before the boiling lava gets you. I didn’t even have time to reach back to grab my hat before I was pregnant with child number two.

For me, adolescence is finally over. But although every aspect of my life has changed, there’s part of me still clinging, white-knuckled, to my days of irresponsibility.

So don’t be surprised if, on a Saturday night, you catch me trying to find a club open for one last drink. And if you’re a late developer too, draw up a stool and get the beers in!

 

Catch Sharon in the second series of the award-winning comedy Pulling, which starts on Sunday, March 23, 9.30pm, BBC3. The DVD of series one is out on Monday, April 7.

 

Photography: www.amarang.com