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BIG BROTHER’S CHIRPY RINGMASTER IS BACK. BUT OFF-SCREEN DAVINA MCCALL’S HAD HER SHARE OF HEARTACHE. SHE TELLS FABULOUS HOW SHE’S COPING AFTER HER MUM’S RECENT DEATH…

Interview by Louise Gannon

Photography by Alistair Morris

Davina McCall will have worked herself into a frenzy of epic proportions in just four days’ time.

The show she calls her baby is back and millions will tune in to see Davina raise the curtain on Big Brother 9.

 

Click here for more Davina photos

 

But behind the whoops and smiles, life isn’t all sunshine for the TV star.

Davina, 40, has spent most of her life trying to cope with the emotional damage caused by her mum’s abandonment of her when she was just three.

Six weeks ago, Davina’s 62-year-old mother Florence Kock (left) – a four-times-married ex-alcoholic – died after contracting pneumonia while suffering from bone cancer.

Davina wasn’t by her mum’s side when she passed away, and didn’t attend her funeral.

Instead of feeling grief at her mother’s death, Davina was relieved.

“It may sound strange,” she explains, “but when my mum died, I felt completely free, which is something I’ve never experienced before.”

Talking about her mother’s death for the first time, Davina’s keen to explain the complex past they shared.

Taking a deep breath, she continues: “The most important relationship in life is the one you have with your mother.

"We didn’t have the typical mother/daughter relationship, nothing like the one I have with my kids.

“My mother was wild and dramatic and just wasn’t able to cope with being a mum.

“Now she’s gone, I’ve made the decision to remember her with happiness, not bitterness, and to think of her as the fabulous, outrageous, wonderful person she really was.”

Davina was raised by her paternal grandparents after French-born Florence walked out on her daughter and her husband Andrew.

The aftershock was immense as Davina struggled to cope – the pain culminated in her spending six years – from the age of 18 – addicted to cocaine and heroin.

Through years of therapy, Davina has managed to turn her life around.

She’s built a successful career and a solid marriage to ex-Pet Rescue presenter Matthew Robertson (left), and adores her three children, Holly, six, Tilly, four, and 19-month-old son Chester.

But she’s struggled to reconcile her feelings for her mum.

They were in irregular contact when Davina was in her 20s but in 2000 their fragile relationship was dealt a fatal blow after Florence falsely claimed in a newspaper interview that Davina’s old drink and drug demons were back.

Davina was devastated by this betrayal, and in December last year finally sought help to deal with her feelings.

“I needed to resolve things and I went to a therapist,” she reveals.

“Just before my mother died, I had a big moment of forgiveness.

I accepted the relationship was what it was.

"Underneath everything, I always knew she loved me.”

Davina was in America at the wedding of Matthew’s younger brother when Florence’s step-family contacted her to say she was dying.

She adds: “I couldn’t be with her because I was on a different continent.

"All I could do was send her a message saying: ‘I love you.'

"I know she got that before she died.”

She pauses: “I was with my big sister when Mum passed away.

"We hugged each other a lot, cried a lot, and had a weepy day talking.

"It was something we needed to do together.

"It sounds weird, but now my mum’s passed away, I feel free to love her again.”

As a child, Davina had to learn to accept being ‘forgotten’ by her mother.

She was always the child left at the school gates, the little girl whose mum never came to collect her from ski lessons.

She smiles: “It’s weird how those feelings stay with you.

"I’m now obsessive about picking my own kids up.

“One time I was getting ready to pick up my daughter Tilly from nursery at noon when a friend called me saying she had Tilly with her.

"Pick-up time had changed that day to 11am.

"I went into complete meltdown.

"I was crying and sobbing uncontrollably.

"I drove to her house like a lunatic.

"She opened the door and there in front of me was an idyllic scene – Tilly and her friend husking corn in the sunshine, laughing and smiling.

“I stood on the doorstep unable to speak for tears, red in the face, totally hysterical.

“The tears were all about me, my childhood, all those times when my mum had forgotten to pick me up, how horrible I felt.

"I was putting all the emotions of abandonment I had onto my daughter.

“In Tilly’s case it was different.

"She was relaxed and happy – it was nothing to her.

"In a way my mum helped me to be a great mother.

"I’ve been able to right the wrongs and I’m always there for my children.

“Of everything amazing that’s happened to me, being a mother and being married to Matthew are the most incredible.

"He’s completely gorgeous, and the one person in the world who understands all sides of me.

"Oh, and he’s incredibly sexy!

“My mother gave me one bit of great advice.

"When I was about 13 she said: ‘If you don’t look after your husband, he’ll leave you for a woman who will.’

“I think that’s true.

"A good love life is a major part of a good marriage.

"So my mum actually helped my marriage, in a way.”

Turning negatives into positives and adding a bit of sauce is a formula that makes Davina the perfect Big Brother host – a role she’s keen to keep, contrary to reports that she’s quitting presenting to become an actress.

“Are you joking?” she asks.

“I’m so not going to be an actress.

"I can’t act.

"I’m doing a cameo role in a movie playing myself as a zombie, and that’s it.

“As for Big Brother, I’ll never leave it.

"I love it.

"Next year is the 10th anniversary of the show, and there’s no way I’m not going to be part of that.

“The only way I’d leave Big Brother is if they fired me.

"I’m so proud to be part of something I love.”

This year Davina’s promising huge changes for the show.

“We’re going back to basics,” she says.

“It’s all about rules, and we’re going to be strict, strict, strict!”

So who better to take charge than Davina?

A woman who’s finally in control of everything in her life.

Big Brother starts Thursday, 9pm, Channel 4.

 

FABULOUS FIVE

1. If there was an Olympic sport for anything, what would you win gold for?
Making the fastest meal with protein, carbs and veg. I can do it in 15 minutes.

2. If you could be invisible for one day, what would you do?
Spy on Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. I’m obsessed with them. I’m sure they’re happy, despite what people say.

3. If you weren’t famous what would you be?
A midwife. I can’t think of a more awesome job.

4. If you could turn back the clock, what would you tell yourself at 13?
Don’t worry. It’ll be OK.

5. What celebrity list would you rate yourself as... A, B or C-list?
A-list, natch. I’ve been around long enough.

Photography: Getty Images, Goffinf.com, Rex Features. Hair: Michael Douglas at Theresa Fairminer. Make-up: Lyndsay Lilly Keys using Dermalogica Skincare and Mac Pro Make-Up. Styling: AJ Knight. Davina wears outfits by Angels the Costumiers, shoes by LK Bennett

 

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